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Funny Sporting Quotes - Soocer / Football

Here is our collection of humorous soccer (football) quotes from players, coaches and commentators.

" I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars … the rest I just squandered."
- George Best

Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I'm very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.
Bill Shankly - English soccer manager.

The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn't move, kick it until it does.
Phil Woosnam - Welsh soccer player and manager.

I'm sure sex wouldn't be so rewarding as this World Cup. It's not that sex isn't good but the World Cup is every four years and sex is not.
Ronaldo - Brazilian soccer player, after winning 2002 World Cup.

All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.
— Mitchell Thomas, Former English football player

An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal.
— Dave Bassett, English football manager

And that’s Aston Villa’s first league goal since their last one.
— Elton Welsby, British TV sports presenter

From that moment the pendulum went into reverse.
— Gerald Sinstadt, British sports commentator and broadcaster

Germany are a very difficult team to play… they have eleven internationals out there today.
— Steve Lomas, Former Northern Irish football player

He had an eternity to play that ball… but he took too long over it.
— Martin Tyler, English football commentator

He is a goal scorer, not a natural born one - not yet. That takes time.
— Glenn Hoddle, Former English football player and manager

I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.
— Barry Venison, Former English football player

I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back.
— Eric Morecambe, Deceased English comedian

I wouldn’t be bothered if we lost every game, as long as we won the league.
— Mark Viduka, English and Australian football player.

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