Football / Soccer One-Liners
[ world cup one-liners, more Soccer humor ]
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What runs around a soccer field but doesn't move?
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A fence!
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Why is it so hot after a soccer game?
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Because all the fans have gone home.
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What do you get if you cross a football team with a bunch of crazy jokers?
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Mad Jester United.
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What do you get if you cross a footballer and a mythical creature?
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A centaur forward.
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Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
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So he could tie the score
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Why was the dog bad at soccer?
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Because he had two left feet
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Why are swimmers good at soccer?
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Because they dive a lot.
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Which soccer player has the biggest cleats?
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The one with the biggest feet.
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Why did the soccer ball quit?
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It was tired of being kicked around.
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Where do Team USA soccer players shop for their soccer uniforms?
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New Jersey.
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What lights up a soccer stadium?
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A soccer match.
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Why don't grasshoppers watch soccer?
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Because they prefer cricket.
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How do chooks encourage their football teams?
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The EGG them on.
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Why are soccer players so good at school work?
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Because they know how to use their heads.
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What position does a ghost play in soccer?
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Ghoulie!
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Why can't Cinderella play soccer?
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Because she's always running away from the ball.
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